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tracing shadows

a whole shell
divided into pieces, labeling some of it
acceptable, decent, other parts of it
sinful and hellish
my fingers try to curl around and trace
the outlines of lights hugging shadows
lowering my head, bringing my eyes near
the words and symbols to make sense out of
the fear that hums occasionally in my ears
or falls out of my eyes, refusing to focus, like tears
ink crawls across the paper but i scratch it away,
using my pen like a sword, cutting away,
rewording, but not erasing, letting it all stay

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