Daily poetry from Brianna Dawn.

one day i’ll get there

one day i won’t measure myself against the
wheels turning magic formulas and spinning
dreams in my mind

i won’t find myself avoiding eye contact
with myself in the mirror

or over-thinking how i desperately need to
articulate my vulnerability to the world

and i won’t be afraid of learning to swim
so that i can trust myself from drowning
believe in my own limbs and lungs

to carry my heartbeat to a louder, more tangible place
not tucked under jackets and sweaters and sleeves
and insecurities and loneliness

i won’t look at myself so dejectedly
and i won’t climb mountains backwards
or reverse my intentions

i won’t be so numb and lethargic to the minutes
that tap against my shoulder

and i won’t fashion blocks and build walls
and tie myself to them so i can drag them inward
closer and closer

so nothing can get in or nothing can get out

i won’t allow myself to be a lost letter in a bottle
floating aimlessly at sea

i truly desire the world to see the utterly human, flawed,
and broken me

in the words i have spoken, and written, and struggle to pen
even though i feel sometimes like my breath is stuck in the wind
pipes within me,

everything is always within

and my fingers refuse to bend around the markers or pens or anything
i use in attempt to write something

it’s hard to explain that every day i’m truly fighting against
this place, for a long time i thought was hollow

but it’s not it’s full of shadows
filled with a heavy cold wind that settles along
the floors that creak under my skin

every time i try to press the tip of the pen
or the keys of a keyboard on my fingertips

people don’t realize my fingertips are really my lips
letting slip the pressurized thoughts and
imagination and beliefs i have,

these words i write are the only way sometimes i think
i can illustrate myself, to really be visible and not vanish
into vague memories

because i, one day i’ll get there
when these words will take a more audible form
and i won’t be so quiet

and i’ll be able to look into you all
one day i’ll get there and my lips, my voice
will be my fingertips

____
Thank you for reading this poem from
Reflections 2015, A Poetry Collection of Written Works by Tiny Fawns
This is a poetry compilation project featuring previously written content that I will share during periods of time when I am not available to provide daily updates. All poems from this collection were scheduled a week in advance. All comments, questions, and ping backs will receive a response once I return.

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