goodbye, 2017.

some mistakes aren’t
meant to stay mistakes.

they don’t have to be
frozen in time; some can
be mended or repaired –

i’ll tell you one of mine.

time slipped away from me
this winter, and so did my poetry.

i let winter clouds
weigh in on my mind.

but you probably think,
that’s fine. it’s okay to fall behind …

… not to have words written every day.
even if you began the year saying 
you would definitely do this, day after day.

and i would quietly argue with myself,
not if you’re me though, my
mind likes to stack up and
remind me of every moment
i fall behind.

but i don’t want to hold
my shadows hostage,
making myself a victim
of myself –

so i mended it all, i went
back and tried to write
out each and every word
for all of the days that have passed –
i realized the bookshelf of my mind never
grew thin, there were just some
months where my words wanted
to stay tucked within my head
a little longer;

i learned missing a few
days doesn’t make me any weaker
of a writer or any stronger of a poet.

winter clouds aren’t so light but
they aren’t so heavy either.

it wasn’t a perfect year of writing,
but i tried my best to treat
the imperfections with care,
because there,

in those moments
is where i found the key to 2018 –

always try to do better,
until you know better,
then follow that road,
even in muddy waters
flowers can still grow.

goodbye, winter 2017.

you rattled me with inconsistency
i let myself slip for a few months
i was going so strong, remembering
to value my words every day
but then dark clouds got in my way
… but that is okay. ups and downs,
they are found everywhere,
i’ll try not to care so much about it,
letting it go – slowly moving forward
slowly so i can grow.

goodbye, doubt

once, twice, numerous times
i write and rewrite my
doubts until i forget what those
doubts were even about to
begin with, so i’ll begin
with myself – once, twice,
numerous times, no matter
how many times it takes,
i’ll try to take off all of
the complexities i’ve
wrapped around my mind
i’ll try to remove all of the
insecurities running
through my heart, i
try to remember to hold
others up in the moments
i feel like i’m falling apart

___
backdated post a day poem for December 29th, 2017

goodbye, pretention

please cross out lines
or words of mine that come
off as aloof, i want to pour
my heart out, gently –
not judgmentally, as if
i’m some sort of pretentious
unfeeling snob

___
backdated post a day poem for December 28th, 2017